Monday, January 6, 2014

Glorious, Amazing Mistakes

First, I'd like to comment on the title. As you all (probably) know, I'm a bit of a Neil Gaiman fangirl. And often times he blogs about his wish for the New Year. There isn't a one I don't enjoy, but thus far I've never loved a New Years wish/resolution as much as the one he wrote about mistakes. You can read a collection of his wishes here, but I'm also pasting this particular one because I love it that much:

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever."

I want to forever have the courage to do the things I'm scared of doing. I want to always be Doing Something. I want to always make mistakes.

Second, I've always considered that perhaps these blogs would be better/easier if I wrote about the songs throughout the whole month, as I'm realizing they need to go on the mix. This month solidifies that consideration. Sometimes you can narrate the past without bias, and that's what I've attempted to do, though it's been... troublesome. But, I digress.

"High For This (The Weeknd Cover)" - Ellie Goulding
This song was sent to me by my previously mentioned friend involved in the game of music tag. I listened to it, I enjoyed it, I and I let it sit off to the side. Then one day a friend of a friend and myself that were starting to talk on a daily basis realized we basically speak the same language when it comes to music. I had introduced him to Ellie via the song Stay Awake, and while we were discussing her I remembered this one originally by The Weeknd and forwarded it to him. It was just a simple reply of "I'm really into this song." but every time I introduce/recommend any song to any person and it elicits a favourable response, it makes my heart flutter a bit.

"The Engine Driver" - The Decemberists
This one... This one guilts me a bit. Only a few days prior to sending my newest acquaintance (named Jake, because I'm going to get tired of finding creative ways to reference him.) quoted this song at me during a Skype call. We'd only been talking for a week or two, perhaps? So there was still an air of "I think I like you but you're kinda not real since you live halfway across the country" as the call was wrapping up and he said "..if you don't love me let me go." I just kinda stared at him for a bit, and in my head I was fumbling for the proper interpretation. Because, you know, I'm a girl, and I over-analyze everything. 'Well of course I don't love him, we haven't even met in real life. So what, say "Okay bye!" instead? But that's so harsh...' He must've recognized the look of I don't even know what - distress? confusion? - on my face, because he linked me to the song. I started listening to it, enough to catch the reference, but not all the way through. Partially because (like we had a habit of doing) the conversation was still going and I wanted to focus on what he was saying, but also partially because I assumed it was in my library and I had already heard it. And I was wrong. I went to find it in my library, rather than track down the link and realized I was lacking the entire album. As passionate as I am about music, and sharing it with others, sometimes I blow off what others try to share with me. And any time I do, I end up feeling ashamed.  Even if it's only for a day or two, and even if no one ever finds out, I end up feeling like a hypocrite and it haunts me.

"Running to the Sea (Seven Lions Remix)" - Röyksopp feat. Susanne Sundfør
I might've actually found this song towards the end of November, but it definitely took over in December. This Seven Lions remix was actually the first version I heard of it. I honestly hadn't listened to the original until writing this, whoops. It was Susanne Sundfør's name that caught my attention, after falling in love with her song with M83. I've just been devouring remixes a bit recently, and I thought the contrast in the song was amazing.

"Will Calls (Diplo Remix)" - Grizzly Bear
I managed to find this song on Soundcloud the day it was posted and I got so giddy that someone remixed a Grizzly Bear song. And not just anyone, Diplo, a name I (an edm newb) recognized. It's hard to describe, but I just really love when bands I follow are appreciated by wider audiences.

"The Mother We Share" - Chvrches
I honestly can't remember if I saw one of my friends listening to them on Spotify, or if they were mentioned on Facebook, or if it came up through my Soundcloud. I know I started listening to them thru Soundcloud, but I believe it was a combination of the first two that made me seek them out, and I'm glad I did. I almost thought I wouldn't like them, because of her voice. (Although she's a doll to look at!) It's on the verge of being almost too... young sounding? for me, but there's something there that captivates me, and paired with the music, it just works.

"Minnesota, WI (Oliver Nelson Remix)" - Bon Iver
This has always been one of my favourite Bon Iver songs thus far, but I absolutely loved hearing it in a new light. It doesn't give me quite the chills the original does, but given the remix/edm kick I've been on, I couldn't not fall in love with it.

"Half A Mind" - Jenny Owen Youngs
I follow Jenny on Twitter, and she posted a link to a project she worked on - The Acoustic Guitar Project. Something I had never even heard of before. I was on my phone, so I saved the link to check out when I was at home. Do you ever have a song just hit you right in the feels, and it just can't be applicable to anything else ever again except the situation you're experience right in that moment? That was this song. I heard it, and immediately thought 'Well, fuck.' This wasn't even midway thru December, and I hadn't even been talking to Jake for a month yet. I really can't speak for him, because all I have are my interpretations of what he says. But I myself was at the stage that if he were a real person, living in the same zip code, I would most definitely be dating him. (Well, assuming he was okay with that.) And by now I had acquired this status of being able to send him songs randomly, and they fit perfectly with the mood of whatever was going on. I was basically a musical psychic. But I couldn't send this song to him. No way. So much truth to the lyrics, but no. No, no, no. I fall fast, and I'm at the age where I rarely bother fighting it. But I do try to refrain from wearing it on my sleeve. (Yeah, I'm bad at that too.) I am constantly worried about causing others distress, and this song was no exception. So I kept it to myself as long as I could. But I also knew it had to go on this mix, and that I had to tell the story. And this story in particular was one I wanted to tell to him first-hand, so eventually, I did.

"Fall In Love" - Phantogram
This song brought to my attention that Phantogram was working on a new album. That alone excited me. Then I listened to it and, I just, I couldn't stop listening to it. I still can't stop listening to it. If I did side-by-side repeats, there'd be a good chance this would wind up on January's mix too. (But I have personal criterion to follow.) This was one song that I wanted to share with Jake specifically, but never did. To me, this song doesn't have a cut and dry interpretation, and at the time I didn't want to risk ruining my wonderfully awesome track record at sending the perfect song at the perfect moment. Turns out this song fit more thoroughly than I could've imagined.